realactualslut:

super-wolves:

laugh-til-ya-fart:

A man cheats on his girlfriend named Lorraine with a girl named Clearly.

Suddenly, Lorraine died.

At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, “I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone.”

i’m done with this website

yoooooooo you got the joke wrong its supposed to be Claire Leigh i mean who the fuck names their kid Clearly

rneerkat:

girls hit on me AND boys hit on me. i explode. i am a piñata

georjajayhurrison:

fangks:

christieanne:

I’d be laughing ll the way out the door

do u at least get to see a dick tho

tumblr user fangks asks the real questions

therealhamster:

sneakin to yo girls room

rhydonmyhardon:

let us have a moment of silence for those who unknowingly dated and broke up with a future celebrity

epic-humor:

heytherebiebs: oMFG MY TEARS I CANT DEAL

CAN U HEAR ME SCREAMING 

galifianafuck:

“did you get a prom dress yet”

oh yes i did

importantdog:

theres a new sheriff in town 

loliconprince:

”you’ll agree with me when you’re older”

goddamngeckogirl:

shitsponge:

thefeltonfreak:

realityisahumaninvention:

unclefather:

nottoointeresting:

thelaughingmango:

unclefather:

why can’t a t-rex clap? because it’s dead

too soon

How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his Family. 

WHAT

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks “why the long face?”

The horse replies “my wife has terminal cancer”

what’s worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it?

the holocaust

Why did the boy drop his ice cream?

He got hit by a truck.

certainwordsuncertaintimes:

I can’t tell if Amanda Bynes is really in need of help, or if she is pulling off the most amazing and fully committed Amanda show skit of her life

jakemalik:

*drops food on floor*

germs: go get it! quick!

king germ: no.. we must wait 5 seconds.. it is the rule

deucebowl:

a fancy asian restaurant called “Suit and Thai”